The Story of a Tubal

I know, kind of a strange thing to blog about right? I can only say that it is just a funny exchange of words that I thought someone out there might either relate too, or find amusing.

While there is a huge back story that runs behind this let's sum it up as to say that my procedure was scheduled for right after Charlie-Monkey was born and (not to my happiness) was canceled due to OR overbooking. I was then left to make new arrangements during my 6 week postpartum appointment, however now I have to go through the entire consult all over again because they feel that when you are postpartum you might have a change of heart, (all that gushy new mom feelings flowing out might make you decide to have another) little do my doctor's know, I don't change my mind.

So after much bitching and pouting and complaining (hey, I'm being honest) I schedule an appointment to meet with Dr. Moon......

Why do OB's feel the need to make you sit on that exam table half naked with nothing but a sheet covering you, a sheet that is barely big enough to wrap around you, so your be-hind is still hanging out right in front of the door to the exam room ready to flash anyone that might be in the hallway when said door opens. As if that is not bad enough you sit there half exposed waiting for what feels like an eternity while you listen to your doctor in the hallway shooting the breeze with the nurses and other doctors (whose patients are half exposed on their tables). Is this part of some secret OB joke?

So, there I am half naked and exposed and very aggrivated that I am doing this consult for the umpteenth time when the door blasts open and a petite little Asian doctor comes storming in the room guns blaring.

YOUR SURE?

ummmm, yeah?

You understand this is permanent?

um, yeah

NO I mean it's IRE RE VERS A BLE

yep, kinda the point of having it done

NO, I mean you can't take it back, you will NEVER be able to have children again

yep, I know, kinda the point

NO, I mean like say something happens to your kid, you CAN'T have another

ummm, kinda morbid - but yeah, I get it

NO, I mean like if something happens and you get divorced and then meet a studly younger man who wants kids YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO HAVE ANY

yep, again kinda depressing scenario but I get it

NO, I mean you've got like 10 more good baby making years and you won't be able to have any

again, that's the point

*humpf* fine


Surgery scheduled, pre-opt appointment visit:

Setting: Uncomfortable exam room. Character is again half naked on table listening to doctor laugh in hallway with other naked patients doctors. Door suddenly BURSTS open and petite doctor storms in

YOUR SURE?

yes, Dr. Moon

IRE-RE-VERS-A-BLE

yes, Dr. Moon

CAN'T TAKE IT BACK

yes, Dr. Moon

NO MORE KIDS

yes, Dr. Moon

STUDLY MAN - WANTS KIDS

we can adopt Dr. Moon

*humpf* fine


Surgery done, recovery completed - post OP appointment-

Scene: Uncomfortable exam room. Character is half naked on exam table listening to her doctor laugh in hallway with other half naked patients doctors. Door BURSTS open and petite doctor barges in.

DO YOU KNOW HOW DIFFICULT YOUR PROCEDURE WAS?

um, no Dr. Moon

THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE AN IN AND OUT THING, NO MORE THAN A HALF HOUR AND HERE I AM STUCK WORKING ON YOU FOR LIKE AN HOUR AND A HALF!

um, I'm sorry Dr. Moon?

PUT THOSE STINKING BANDS ON AND THEY POPPED OFF, DO IT AGAIN, THEY POP OFF

um, sorry Dr. Moon?

THEN BECAUSE YOU JUST HAD THE BABY YOUR UTERUS IS SWOLLEN AND IT'S GETTING IN MY WAY

um, really sorry Dr. Moon? (I mean what else do you say in apology of your uterus? Is this something you send a card for "Sorry my uterus was in your way.)

THAT'S IT, FROM NOW ON I'M NOT DOING THESE THINGS UNTIL 6 MONTHS POSTPARTUM FROM NOW ON!

well, think about it this way Dr. Moon - I helped you create a new policy. There's always a silver lining right?

*humpf*

Introducing my wonderfully verbal nephew Ben

My nephew Ben is about the funniest thing you have ever met in your entire life. I have repetitively told his mother that she needs to start a blog called Life With Ben or Bennyisms or something of that nature because the things that come out of this 6 year old's mouth are too much to handle with a straight face. This was our conversation during our car ride today after his Summer Camp Talent Show. He is in blue and I'm in purple. I'll let the story speak for itself...

Aunt Bridget when you start teaching Drama Kids I'll take the class and then I will be a great actor someday.

That's wonderful B-

Yeah and I'll also be in a band so I'll be like a fantastic rockstar

Sounds great Ben, wh-

Yeah and I'm also gonna be a WORLD famous author and write tons of stories and books that they are gonna sell ALLLLL over

You'll be a triple threat!

(Stops in mid ramble) What's a triple threat Aunt Bee?

Well that's someone who is good at all the arts, singing, dancing, acti-

Well why are they a threat? Are they dangerous
No, it just means that if you are good at all three things than your more likely to get jobs than people that are just good at on-

OH well then I'm gonna be a MILLION TIMES THREAT cause I'm gonna be good at like EVERYTHING and I'm gonna be the most famous video and computer game designer for my favorite video game company Pop Cap, but their not better than Nintendo they are just my favorite computer game designers and they do IPhone stuff too - so I'll be taking jobs from EVERYONE including you Cecilia - no offense - and well I'll take your jobs too but not your cheerleading jobs - you can have them because I don't want to be good at cheerleading thats for girls but I'll be good at everything else. AND of course I'm gonna be President - do you think Charlie is going to want to be President too? Who would you vote for Aunt Bee if me and Charlie were gonna be running for President, huh?
Well Ben, I don't think I can pick between my favorite nephew and my son. Why don't you be President and Charlie can be your Vice President because he is younger than y-
What's a Vice President? Well that is the second in command. He or she helps the President run the country and if something ever happens to the President the Vice President moves up and becomes the Presid-

So like if I die, Charlie will take my job?

Well that a bit morbid Ben but I suppose s-
Well than that won't work because I want to be President not Charlie. Maybe he can be in my band instead.
So Ben, how are you gonna have time to do all this AND be President of the United States too.

Well, that is quite simple Aunt Bee - I'm going to do all the other stuff while I am younger and then when I am older but not President Old I'm gonna be an author

Ben, how old IS President old.
I don't really know but it's old so I can do lots of other stuff before I do that. Cause I'll have plenty of time. So Aunt Bee anyway, are you gonna vote for me when I am President?

Of course Ben

{this moment}

{this moment} – A Friday ritual. A single photo – no words – capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. If you’re inspired to do the same, leave a link to your ‘moment’ in the comments for all to find and see. [Inspired by SouleMama]

Join me for a Sneak Attack

Many of you have heard me (or read me lol) talk about the Handmade Movement and their weekly Sneak Attacks. For those of you who don't know here is the reader's digest condensed version (for a more in-depth explanation go to www.handmademovement.com )...

Every week one member of the Handmade Movement picks 2 or 3 new and upcoming ETSY shops that have under 4 sales and surprises them with a night of sales and hearts (adding a shop as a favorite). It allows the new shop to get some exposure and love. Last month I was one of the shops "attacked" and know how exciting it is.

Today is my turn to do the attacking. I have picked three shops and at 7 PM tonight they will be announced on the Handmade Movement thread at http://www.etsy.com/forums_thread.php?page=3&thread_id=6571745

PLEASE take the time to not only visit the thread and chat with a great group of people but stop by the shops I have chosen and show them some love through hearts and maybe even some purchases. Each shop has a good amount of items under $10 so they won't break the bank.

Don't forget to like the handmade movement on FB at www.facebook.com/thehandmademovement and check out the website at www.handmademovement.com. Enter to win this week's giveaway - a fantastic bracelet from Shades of Victoria on Etsy. Link for this giveaway is on the right of the screen on the website. Winners will be announced at Thursday's Sneak Attack.

Remember - The Handmade Movement is not an official Etsy Team, there are no rules or membership steps to go through before you can join. By showing up and participating you are part of the group. Anyone and everyone is welcome at the Handmade Movement so stop by and help us MAKE SOMEONE'S DAY!

Veggies, Veggies Everywhere

Some of this week's shares - Beautiful

So Saturday is CSA pick up day. Remembering this last night and knowing that I hadn't even used up all the veggies from last week I decided to raid the fridge and try to use up as much as I could in one meal. Let me tell you it was fantastic!

I had a bunch of turnips left from last week that I truly had left in the back of the fridge because I am truly stupid about what to do with them. Feeling brave and adventurous I swept the Food Network online recipe database and came up with a Turnip and Edamame recipe that looked worth trying. A few adjustments and voila! A meal that neither I nor Andy could stop eating. The following is the recipe the way I made it, below that is the link to the original recipe. Choose for yourself

Turnips and Edamame

1 bunch of turnips peeled and diced
1 lb shelled Edamame (all I had on hand was frozen)
1 bag frozen peas (or if you are so lucky fresh)
3 Sliced Scallions (both the green and white sections sliced and kept seperate)
Pasta (I used mini thumbprints b/c that is what I had in the cabinet)
Butter
Water
Salt and Pepper to taste
Garlic powder
Fresh Grated Parmesaen

Cook your pasta al dente and set aside
Place diced turnips in pot with 2 tablespoons of butter and 1/2 cup of water, salt and pepper. Simmer, covered for 5-7 minutes
Add the whites of the scallions, the edamame and the peas and one more tablespoon of butter and garlic powder and simmer for another 3-5 minutes
Uncover and simmer until the water is almost all evaporated - add pasta and allow to simmer until pasta absorbs some of the butter liquid
Throw in scallion greens and allow to wilt
Serve with a bit of fresh grated parmesan (I like cheese on my pasta - Andy had it without)


Here is the original recipe from the Food Network
http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/food-network-kitchens/glazed-turnips-and-edamame-recipe/index.html

This week's shares were absolutely beautiful. At Newcomb's where I get my shares from we are allotted a monetary amount based on whether we paid for a full or half share. This amount is "spent" in their market pavilion on any combination you want. I am allotted $14, most of the items are marked between .50 and $2 so I come out with a pretty good share of veggies. The market pavilion was filled today with the first really full harvest of the season. The peas were so fresh and green (as you can see) and they had fresh raspberries that I'm sure won't make it to the end of the day if the kids have a say about it. I ended up with the peas, raspberries, broccoli, two heads of romaine, cucumbers, eggs (a gift each week from the farm) and a basket full of tomatoes. Surrounded with veggies I realized it's been a few days since I had checked my garden for anything worth picking.

All five of my onions were ready! I've never grown onions before - quite excited to try them

Almost Ready

The first full harvest of the season

I love planting bean plants. They are the easiest and most fruitful thing I have ever planted. 6 bean plants will yield enough beans to make you not want to look at another one until next year! Definitely a staple in any garden. Unfortunately my tomato plants are not looking so good this year. It is the third year that I have used the Topsy Turvy. The first year I had beautiful and huge tomato plants. Last year I lost htem in the NE hail storms that reaked havock on us in June and this year one has gone on to a better place and the other is hanging on my it's roots (literally and figeratively). Next year I think we are back to good old fashioned ground planting. My herbs didn't make it - I think I put too much in the same pot. Also lost my strawberry baskets from too much rain. I never have luck with strawberries. All in all though everything else is looking healthy and growing big and green and beautiful.

What It Means To Be A Mom

What it means to be a Mom:

• No longer being allowed to enter a bathroom alone EVER AGAIN
• Taking a shower faster than it takes the baby to wake up
• Knowing whether the poopie diaper smell lingering in the air belongs to your child or another because you know what your child's poop smells like (you say eww but you know it's true)
• having super sensitive hearing that can pick your child's cry out of a dream filled sleep or a busy store
• Answering "What" every time you hear someone call "Mommy" whether your child is with you or not.
• Never having an outfit that doesn't have a coordinating spit up stain somewhere on it.
• Having the coordination to answer the phone, read your emails, talk to your husband and rock a bouncy chair with your foot all at the same time
  
• Knowing every word to whatever new pop sensation is "in" this week and having them play over and over and over and over until you hear them in your dreams
  
• Even though you hated it as a kid - Knowing spit REALLY DOES clean everything
• Your pocketbook contains more child amusement items than actual adult things
• You don't even bother wiping the spit off your face from the sloppy kisses
• The underneath of your couch cushions has become a hiding place for barbie shoes and crayons
• Finding yourself hanging upside down over the bed at 3 AM frantically looking for the pacifier that fell out of the bassinett before the screaming wakes up the whole house
• You've never actually called a pacifier a pacifier
• You have named all of your infants toys for him - his lovey, the boobear, the mimi
  
• Mastering the one arm pick up baby maneuver
• Getting over the germophobia issue you had prior to your first child
• Catching yourself singing children's songs in the car - when your by yourself
• If you find yourself purchasing baby wipes in stead of cleaning supplies because they work just as good and are much more handy
• Your idea of a good restaurant is now one that doesn't roll their eyes when you walk in with two in tow
• and taken from a online submitter....You know you are a mom if you realize wanting a baby is the dumbest, craziest, most idiotic wonderful idea you ever had. From Monica Williams

{this moment}

{this moment} – A Friday ritual. A single photo – no words – capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. If you’re inspired to do the same, leave a link to your ‘moment’ in the comments for all to find and see. [Inspired by SouleMama]

Slacking off

Born to Brine

What Would Julia Do?

Quilter's Make the World a Warmer Place

Material Girl

Best Buns

I have truly been slacking off on my promise to myself that I would write here at least twice a week. It's not like I don't have a million of things in my head that I want to write down but the hustle and bustle I have been in lately has not given me time to do anything but run around like a chicken with my head cut off.

I have started on my line of Career Shirts for Adults. I love the way they are coming out and enjoy coming up with new sayings and designs. My hands can't keep up with my brain and I have over 50 one-liners written on my desktop Stickies app. I posted some of them with this post, feel free to comment suggestions. I welcome the constructive criticism. I am hoping to have them uploaded to Etsy by the end of this week.

Another great accomplishment for Smart sAss Baby is the sale of my custom shirts at a local shop here in NY. Salon Texture will be featuring Smart sAss Baby T-shirts in their front gift area! What a exciting milestone for me. I also got to design my first custom order for a great customer this week.

In addition to all my other endevors I have most recently become a Madison Handbag consultant. Just another way to support Handmade! All of these fantastic handbags are sewn locally in Troy, NY by a team of talented seamstresses. Customers can host or attend a party and custom design their bag by chosing one of the 18 different designs of pocketbooks and over 70 designer fabrics. They are a great quality product and I'm really excited to be representing them, especially since I have spent so much money purchasing them it will be nice to start making money off of them LOL

Off to bed for me - more to come I promise.

{this moment}

{this moment} – A Friday ritual. A single photo – no words – capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. If you’re inspired to do the same, leave a link to your ‘moment’ in the comments for all to find and see. [Inspired by SouleMama]

My First Treasury

Decided to try to put all of my favorites in one place and create a treasury dedicated to my little monkey man. All things Ape.

http://www.etsy.com/treasury/4c2d44bc1dbd8eef2ecfa238/monkey-in-around

Feel free to click and comment and let me know what you think.

I promise to update on the Summer of Self Improvement soon.