Monday, May 31, 2010

Demon Baby

So of course the baby Gods couldn't have given us a break and they blessed us with a very opinionated and pissed off little man. Our little Charlie monkey is very particular about what he likes and does not like and he is not afraid to voice his opinions in a very loud, very angry way.

Here is a list of things Charlie does and does not like...

He does NOT like to be swung or rocked - therefore he hates the $50 swing I purchased.

He does NOT like to vibrate - Therefore he does not like the vibrate option on his bouncy chair.

He does NOT like to be on his back for any amount of time - Therefore he does not like the $20 bouncy chair I purchased (so the vibrate button isn't really an issue)

He does NOT like his car seat

He does NOT like powdered formula - so I am stuck purchasing the twice as expensive ready to feed liquid kind

and last but not least he DESPISES the car - so there will not be any long road trips in our near future

He DOES love being on his stomach - which probably means he will crawl early

He DOES love his Munchkin Nightlight and Sounds machine

He DOES love his boppy pillow - but only if he is placed on his belly or side

He DOES love his Fisher Price Rainforest Mobile

He DOES love to eat - but only if it's juice or ready feed formula

Now normally when our little man has one of his flip outs you can get him to calm by simply changing his position. You may have to try 3 or 4 to find out where it is he wants to go this particular time but eventually he will stop. His favorite is laying over our legs on his stomach. Now, the catch is the car. When little monkey man flips out in the car we obviously cannot switch his position. I think the police would not take kindly to me driving with a newborn strewn over my legs, might be me.

I spend half of my driving time listing to Cecilia ask me what he is crying about and the other half reaching back during red lights to try to plug him back up with his binky. Unfortunately, little man doesn't give a rats behind about his binky when he is in the car. He does not want to be silenced and is completely vocal about that. Now this might stress out some of those "never let your child cry" people but I have found the best way to deal with this uncontrollable child is to let him get REALLY, REALLY pissed off. Yep, I'm a mean mom go ahead and say it, I'm comfortable with it.

See, when you try to console him too early in his little tantrum he merely spits the pacifier back at you or smacks your hands out of his way in disgust. He is obviously not ready to stop screaming his complaints at you and expects you to be sensitive to this. So I say let him get it out. I turn up the radio, roll the windows down and sing my heart out. When I hear him get to the point of true aggravation, I mean real I hate my life why aren't you listening to me anger I reach back and plug him up. By this time he is so angry and can't remember why that he realizes anything is better than the kill-your-braincells screaming he's been doing for the past 10 minutes. Now just because he has stopped screaming does NOT mean that he is not still really pissed off at you and that he is going to stop bitching his complaints at you though. For proof of this see video. (I especially love how he takes a short break and then adds another point to his case)


  1. Oh, boy, Bridget! LOL.

    I don't know what kind of swing you bought but we have/had two we really liked. The first is the Boppy swing... its kind of like a papasan.
    The second, someone gave to us, the Fisher Price Aquarium swing. Its gigantic, takes up a ton of space but it has 2 different options for swing direction-- back & forth, and side to side. alice slept for hours in it.

  2. We have the papasan type one two. For celie I had the one that swung two ways she loved her swing. He has hated it since day one. So it's been moved out of the living room and to the corner of his bedroom. Hopefully one day he will like it