Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Is this really mine?


Have you ever stood back and wondered, did I get the wrong kid?

Now don't get me wrong I love my daughter and all but if she didn't look just like my husband I would really think she was switched at birth. She is nothing like me.

I am a teacher, it is my passion and my drive in life. The arts and literacy has always been things that I had a passion for. When I teach I teach through books and art. I have more children's books in my collection than most people have adult books (I have 10 shelves full and bags and bags of overflow). When I used to walk into my classrooms the kids would look for my books first and acknowledge me later. Reading out loud has been called my talent. Most children love to have me read to them, except my own.

Ever since Cecilia was born she would rather do anything than sit down with me and a book. She loves to look at books herself. She has a basket full in her room and is constantly strewing them across the floor but goddess forbid I try to read her one. "No thanks Mommy."

It's not just the reading either, she is a small fashionista (I can't even match an outfit together), she wears nail polish and likes mani-pedi's (the only time my nails get painted is when I actually paint something and get it all over myself), she stares at herself in every mirror she passes (if I had my way there wouldn't even be a mirror in the house), and the worst of all - brace yourself - she wants to be a cheerleader! A CHEERLEADER for goddess sake, in high school I used to throw gum in the cheerleader's hair during those damn pep rally things and now my own flesh and blood wants to be one. It's like punishment for something I did in a past life.

I have started this whole Summer of Self Improvement as not only a self-reflection project but a mother-daughter bonding project as well. I know being shoved into a "sibling" role when you have been an only child for 5 years is rough. Cecilia loves her baby brother but there is definitely an attention competition starting. She has gone through a lot of transitions in the last few months. Some we were preparing for and others were a bit of a surprise. I thought this would be a great way to spend some quality time together that was only for us. Yeah, Cecilia doesn't feel we need this time I guess.

Not only was my cooperative garden shot down for reruns of ICarly and my plant signs a total chore for her but the puzzle project she has been pestering me to do is a total bust. We started tonight so gung-ho to begin this great big project, agreed we would do a little each night and keep it all organized in our new puzzle roll up thingy. We opened the box and decided to sort the pieces and work on the frame. Of course the damn TV was so much more important than finding the yellow frame pieces. Thought I was outsmarting her by not letting her change the channel to Spongebob or some other Nickeloden show. Comes to find out Top Chef is as interesting to her as ICarly, that or she is such a junkie she doesn't care what she watches.

After a painful hour of separating inside from outside pieces I mistakenly got excited that now we could actually start the fun part of this project and that maybe she would begin to get into this with me. WRONG! The minute I suggested we start by finding the pieces with writing on them I got the huge obnoxious sigh and "we REALLY have to keep going." Another project bites the dust. I'm learning a lot this summer. I think maybe Kindergarten can't come fast enough, this bonding thing might kill me.

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